Life hurts SO much. I hate the feeling of not being happy! I hate being not the real me. ive been myself to ONE person and still am to that one person. Things feel like they change. How do they REALLY think about you? Do they even think of u at all? How do they feel about u? Do they feel completely different from what they tell u so they don’t hurt your feelings? There are so many questions but to scare to ask. I’m not a drama queen and i feel if i ask that i would be becoming one. Maybe im just paranoid...I need to grow some boobs and just face it. Why live the life not knowing and dying still wondering. Id rather has someone hate me for asking then never knowing RIGHT? im sure most of u would agree with me. How can u find someone so perfect and knowing u don’t EVER have a chance with that person b/c your too nice, or your supposedly to pretty for them. i don’t want to be pretty anymore if i had the choice of being pretty or being with someone u really care and would die to be with. Id pick being with that one person. Being pretty is only skin deep. Personality is ALWAYS there. If someone could just see me for me and not about how pretty i am (which isn’t true) or just cuz she’s a model i want to be someone’s life, dreams, and hopes. But u sit there thinking HES COMING BACK...is he really? Just put your life with God he knows everything. I was told to give up but i have a huge gut feeling saying u cant do that yet...it takes time right? God has always been there for me. I said i would drop it but then i got butterflies maybe it’s a sign not to drop it. i just want a chance, you cant fall in love with someone in a week month or maybe not even a year. it takes so much time. i know i said it but it was just massive feelings toward someone and when i said it i went numb. Sitting there thinking OMG what did i just do. i scared u away from me. I just pray i get my 2nd chance to share with you. i miss you so much. Even though you won’t read this. i care about u tons. I hope you do everything that is right for you. But i do want you to know one thing my favorite person...That is im always by your side NO MATTER what. I’m here for you to cry with and share each others future dreams with one another. If i die im your guardian angel. ill be the first star u see in the sky every night. make your wish and ill help u get your wish no matter what it is. i care for you SO MUCH!! Don’t forget it. EVER.
How is it that days go by there's this guy that tells me that I make him feel like he can touch the sky. He told me that we'll spend the rest of our life together... but every minute of time goes by he make me feel like I have to cry...I don't know how is it so easy for him to spend the day without me.. So many alibis. So many lies... I'm so afraid of one thing... I’m afraid of losing my reason to live... Mostly I’m so unsure about what to do... I don't know what to think...so unsure about whom I should talk to about my feelings... I’m afraid that they might laugh at me if I tell them what I feel! Maybe they'll think I’m stupid! and I’m so unsure about what to say to him...I’m afraid that he might leave me behind... alone and bleeding...taking away my heart with him! I don't want to see him in the hands of others....damn! I’m so in love with him! And I’m so unsure about what might happen in the next day.. Will he go back or leave me forever?
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I never knew i was gonna love u the way I love u i though u love me like i loved u but naww u just play me and never care about me now i feel so much pain in ma heart and is really hard 4 me 2 move on and find some1 thats gonna love me i know that i never show u the way i feel 4 u but u didnt etha and now im just alone ur the bst thing i ever had now ma life sucks with out u i need u but i knw that ur happy with her and if ur happy im happy but she not gonna love u like i do =[
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